By Erkan Nasirli
Science & Technology Editor
Every year on Christmas day, anxious children get up and wonder what Santa brought them. The real question, though, is how Santa was able to get around to all the children of the world in one night and is everyone happy with the outcome?
I am assuming there are about 526 million Christian children under the age of 14. After a quick search on the US incarceration rate, I have determined that 2,298,300 Americans are behind bars Considering that naughty children usually become nasty adults, we can assume that Santa’s naughty list is comprised of around 0.71% of all children on Santa’s list, which is 3,734,600 kids – sounds pretty accurate.
People seem to think that presents are made in Santa’s workshop by the elves, but with millennial children that won’t work because they want brand name toys, which don’t come cheap. A survey conducted by Today suggests that parents spend about $271 USD per child, and considering Santa would have to buy the presents, he would have to shell out $1,425,46,000,000 (523 Billion AED) for his “nice” children. If you think that’s the conclusion to Santa’s extravagant spending, you’re wrong!
You think coal grows on trees? Obviously not! Santa has to pay for the coal which he places in the stockings for naughty children, a 20kg bag of CPL Brazier Multi-Purpose Coal runs about $15.73 (57.78 AED) on electricalworld.com. Assuming Santa uses 1kg of coal per naughty child, that still equals to 3,734,600 kg, which translates into 186730 bags of coal and costs $2,973,262. If you think that’s a spending spree think about how much coal Santa needs to heat up his residence in the North Pole the rest of the year even with global warming!
Onto the logistics behind Santa’s famous route, the North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) tracks Santa’s movements on Christmas Eve every year, which you can watch live on noradsanta.org.
Their data suggests that Santa has to cover 287,910 km in about 31 hours, thanks to the different time zones. Assuming that Santa’s reindeer are normal reindeer would be absurd and would make it impossible to cover so much land. So Santa must have magical reindeer.
I think the only magic that encompasses the reindeer is the fact that they are immortal, which leads me to my next point; I imagine the magic is in the mysterious sleigh and the reindeer are just there for moral support. Santa probably needs moral support. He’s been alive for 1747 years, and if he does this every year, he has spent about 6 years flying around at tremendous speeds on Christmas Eve. If Santa has to cover 287,910 km in 31 hours, it means Santa’s sleigh flies at 9287 kph, which is about 7 times the speed of sound.
Assuming there are two children in each household, Santa has to get to 263,000,000 (263 million) homes in 31 hours, this means Santa has to visit 2,356 houses per second, squeeze down the chimney while being a little overweight man nearing his second millennia, leave the presents by the tree, eat some cookies with milk, fill the stockings and hop back into his sleigh all in under 0.0004 seconds.
We have already established the incredible speeds his sleigh must be able to achieve, but the main predicament here is the fact that a normal human would be instantly vaporized at such speeds, especially considering the fact that the sleigh is open. Santa and his Reindeer are clearly immortal and have special powers which solve their dilemma.
The calorie consumption is extraordinary as well. Unfortunately, a reliable source which states how many cookies are left for Santa on average was not found so we will have to imagine a scenario where each household provides a glass (235ml) of milk and 2 cookies. This combination equals 245 calories per household, the outcome of this synopsis is the consumption of 64,435,000,000 (64 Billion) calories, so it’s no wonder he’s is carrying a few extra pounds.
It is evident that Santa has to go through a great effort in order to deliver all the presents, but what we see is only the perfectly wrapped present under the tree on Christmas morning and not the immense commitment which goes on behind the scenes. Moral of the story is that when something great happens, it’s only achieved through hard work.