DAA Daily

How fast would Santa have to travel on Christmas Eve?

By: Luka Vukovic
Staff Reporter
The Pawprint

Santa has many places to get to on Christmas Eve so he can deliver all of his gifts to all of the good, excited children around the globe, however, this would be a challenge, as he has millions of homes to get to. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west, which would be the best way. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each household with children on the “nice list”, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth which, of course, is an ideal but false situation, for populations are condensed in groups rather than spread around, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept. We are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at approximately 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

All if this means that Santa and his Reindeers would be experiencing approximately 662,000 G’s. To truly understand what Santa and His reindeers would be going through, an average human is killed at approximately 46 G’s with the record standing at 46.6 G’s. A measly sounding 6 G’s is enough to push the blood out of the brain, impairing vision severely, and causing blackouts. Many “G-Monsters” who train regularly for heavy G’s, go through 8 G’s for 30 seconds. It is likely that at Santa’s speed, he would be vaporized, or he would explode, unless he is immortal.

Some people may be wondering now, what does Santa eat? And what of the Reindeers? Or even how he gets into houses without chimneys. Well, you’ll be glad to hear this. If Santa were to be keeping this up the whole night, along with his reindeers, they would need millions if not billions of calories to burn during the night, as this would burn up extreme amounts of energy and fat, so cookies may not be the best decision, leave santa a few burgers and his reindeers several carrots each, they’ll need it.

In the case of houses without chimneys, Santa has been known to sneak in through windows, step lightly through the house and place the presents under the tree, all in less than 1/1000th of a second, and then he’s straight back out. The apartments provide more of a problem however, requiring him to float just outside the window, displaying incredible skill and balance. However, he makes it his mission to do this every year, so be thankful.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth which, of course, is an ideal but false situation, for populations are condensed in groups rather than spread around, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept. We are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.

This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at approximately 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

All if this means that Santa and his Reindeers would be experiencing approximately 662,000 G’s. To truly understand what Santa and His reindeers would be going through, an average human is killed at approximately 46 G’s with the record standing at 46.6 G’s. A measly sounding 6 G’s is enough to push the blood out of the brain, impairing vision severely, and causing blackouts. Many “G-Monsters” who train regularly for heavy G’s, go through 8 G’s for 30 seconds. It is likely that at Santa’s speed, he would be vaporized, or he would explode, unless he is immortal.

Some people may be wondering now, what does Santa eat? And what of the Reindeers? Or even how he gets into houses without chimneys. Well, you’ll be glad to hear this. If Santa were to be keeping this up the whole night, along with his reindeers, they would need millions if not billions of calories to burn during the night, as this would burn up extreme amounts of energy and fat, so cookies may not be the best decision, leave santa a few burgers and his reindeers several carrots each, they’ll need it.

In the case of houses without chimneys, Santa has been known to sneak in through windows, step lightly through the house and place the presents under the tree, all in less than 1/1000th of a second, and then he’s straight back out. The apartments provide more of a problem however, requiring him to float just outside the window, displaying incredible skill and balance. However, he makes it his mission to do this every year, so be thankful.

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